New Beginnings

2016 elephant

My Love,

Your birth year has come to an end and we have started a new one. 2015 was one heck of a year, forever known as the roller-coaster of our life. Your Grandparents had health complications, Patrick was undergoing many tests to get a better understanding of his diagnosis with CF,  the journey of loosing you, and then we finished it off with Mom having a mini stroke. I am very much excited to say goodbye to that year! It was about all I could handle. Then there is the small little part of me is sad to say goodbye, as it was the only time I had with you. You and I were so close. Our connection was real, it held power and I loved every second of it. I have many days when I wish I could go back to those days when you were safe in my womb, when you and I were one.

So 2016 is here, and the future is unknown. I hope to be able to spread your love. Last night I wrote your wish, Theodore’s Wish. It was so therapeutic and helped me feel close to you as I wrote it. I truly felt like it was you channeling through me as I was writing. It is one tool I hope to use to spread your teachings about love to others. I am open to what this year will bring, I am sure you aren’t done offering me your teachings. I find your lessons hard but so rewarding, so I will brace myself while remaining open to them.

As we move into this new year, I need you to know you are coming with us. I am never leaving you behind, never forgetting you, and certainly never going to stop loving you.

Today, tomorrow, and into our future lifetimes my love for you will live on. It is a love that can never die and will always keep growing deeper.

Your forever loving Mommy