Theo my love,
Today is your funeral. Your celebration of life. It was a short life but such a powerful life with so much purpose.
My heart is hurting. I am so nervous about giving your eulogy, it is your story and I want it to be heard. I pray you are with me so I can get through it.
It is hard to believe you are gone, gone from my life forever. I feel like we have lived a few lifetimes together. Our connection was so powerful when you were in my womb. I fear as time goes on this connection will feel further and further away.
I must go and get ready now so please know how much you are loved, and intensely missed. I am happy after today everyone will know more about you, that you weren’t “just a baby” but in fact you were a very old soul in a very young body that was here to help others learn life lessons and grow in ways no one was expecting.
Today was perfect, I just got home after spending time with close friends from out of town and family from my side of the family. It was nice to spend time with everyone together.
On the way to the Church we picked you up at the funeral home. You were in a beautiful wooden box your father picked out for you. It was the first and the last time we would be the travelling family of five we always envisioned. Only it was totally different.
Your service was amazing, there was so much love, so many people attended and we couldn’t have been more pleased. I read your eulogy. I could feel your presence with me. It was hard to talk about you, but felt so good for people to hear your story. People loved it. The ministers gave a beautiful message, we sang hymns and then we proceeded to your final resting place. Your father picked the most beautiful spot on the Bay of Quinte. You couldn’t be closer to the water. It is the perfect place. You actually couldn’t be closer to our home as well.
The reception at the restaurant was really nice. It gave us an opportunity to chat with many who came to celebrate you.
Your brothers aren’t old enough to understand what was happening but Jack asked a few times “why is everyone so sad”. He knew something profoundly sad happened. Patrick was blissfully unaware.
It is hard to believe today is here and now gone. I am not sure how my next days are going to feel, how will I start living a life without you . . .
I love you. More than my heart could have every imagined.
Missing you immensely.
Love your Mommy