Happy Due date Theodore!
Today is the day our medical world predicted you might be born. Not that any of my boys have every been born close to their due date.
I was talking to Michelle the other day about how I felt conflicted with the significance of this day for us. I felt like it should be significant but isn’t since it would never have been a date you would have been born on.
Well, you clearly were listening. Born today was a little boy named Fitzgerald, birthed in the Don Williams birthing suite, named after your Great Grandfather. Our dear friends Jess and Jeff were not due for another couple weeks. I was shocked to get the text but happened to be at the hospital that morning and had the honour to be the first person to meet this sweet angel only hours after he was born. I know this is no coincidence, and instantly this day holds enormous significance.
To say I was shocked is probably an understatement. I felt I was in an alternate universe. I had so many emotions. The most prominent emotion was love and joy for our dear friends and the new sweet angel Fitz but there were other emotions as well. I was scared, how would I ever see Fitz and not think of you, and all what should have been. I then realized that it was okay to feel this way and I didn’t need to be scared. I think of you every second of every day anyway, and I am not wanting to forget you ever. You will always live on in my heart forever. I also felt envious of Jess being so blessed to be holding a perfect new baby. Those feelings passed quickly, they serve no purpose, and choosing love is what will make my heart feel lighter and highlight the true blessing this situation truly is.
Ultimately, I know this was you, you doing God’s work and, making it perfectly clear that you are here with me. I know you will take care of me I just need to keep trusting this journey. It was no accident that Fitz chose this day. I am sure together you and Fitz agreed today was the perfect day to be born. I couldn’t agree more.
You are my greatest teacher. Thank you.
I love you. I am celebrating you and our new friend Fitz today.
Your loving Mommy