Capture Your Grief – Beautiful Mystery 


There are so many beautiful mysteries when it comes to my dear Teddy. To me the biggest mystery is why he chose us to be his parents. Being his Mom is the biggest honour. Out of all the millions of women he could have chosen from he chose me. I feel like I won the lottery.

I never did see his eyes open. I often wonder what they would have looked like. I assume they would have been similar to his brothers, dark, wide and full of love.

I wonder what his cry would have sounded like. I wonder if he would have been a good sleeper or never sleep for three years like his brother Jack. I wonder if he would have had a love for the piano, love to do crafts, play sports, or sing and dance like his brothers. I wonder if he would have been loud like the Williams family or more witty like the Hewat’s 😉.

With so much left unknown and will always remain as a beautiful mystery I have grown to realize how powerful love truly is. Love doesn’t need details, the heart feels deeply what it feels because of a connection that cannot be seen to the naked eye. These details matter for the fact they remind me of moments that I won’t experience but I am also aware that I wasn’t intended to experience them, and I am okay with that.

His beautiful wonder has taught me compassion, love, trust, to find joy in simple pleasures, opening my heart to accepting help, to remove judgment, and be present in everyday life. There is so much I don’t know about him and will never know. His life ended so quickly but his story will live on forever as the ripple effect will be unending.

The most beautiful things in life are often a mystery. My sweet Teddy in my world falls into that category.

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