Theo my love,

I woke up feeling close to you today, you met me in my dreams. You made me inspired to love louder.

I spent the day with your older brother Jack today. We went to gymnastics and then had a lunch date. I couldn’t help but miss you, you should have been with us, you should have been snuggled into a carrier as Jack and I ran around. Then I got thinking . . . If you were meant to stay earthside with us you wouldn’t have been in a carrier but relaxing in my womb. You and I as one.

I am not sure how to look at it. If you were to be born and needed surgery, you most likely would be born this week or next at the latest. Then there is the thought of you being healthy with a heart that didn’t even skip a beat, you would be just like your brothers and would be born two weeks late and making your grand entrance at the end of the month.

Next week is your “due date”. February 17, 2016 it feels significant yet as I just described it seems to hold little value considering all the possible outcomes you never would have been born on that day.

I love you, I miss you and look forward to meeting you in my dreams again real soon my angel.

Your loving Mommy.